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Monday, May 21, 2012


Truly Life begins when you not only learn to unlearn harmful habits but when you forgive yourself and those who've hurt you.

I'm learning how to place value to my professional engagements, personal relationships and more so, to my self worth-my own true self.

It's mind blowing how recognising one's self worth can change everything 180 degrees.
And here I am, bugging about so many things ; suddenly, all I want is the simple stuff, to be contented with what God blesses me with and a renewed zeal for life.

I can be and do so much more with the time given right?

Life is too beautiful to waste it miserable just because you can't get another person's approval.

Here's to doing me!

Saturday, May 5, 2012



    Allow me to share a little bit of my motherhood journey.

    A couple of years ago, when I learnt I was expectant, I was very excited like any other woman would be. I knew I wanted a girl...though I had nothing against boys. I just wanted a gal so desperately for God knows what reason. I kept asking my doc severally how soon I could do a scan to check the baby’s sex. I think I wanted to do the scan by day one! Eventually, when I got to do the scan, I was elated to find out that indeed it was a girl! I even had a glass of wine that day (don't frown)...OK...half a glass to celebrate. I decided her name would be Daisy...and Mama Daisy I became to my family and friends.

    I was to have a C-Section due to a medical issue...and we even set the date after really negotiating with doctor (I was tired of waiting) but lo and had other ideas. 3 weeks before my due date, I had to have an emergency C-Section. It was late in the evening when I finally….groggily woke up from theatre. I was met with the news "Congratulations! You had a baby boy!". SAY WHAT? "What happened to Daisy?"..I asked? Is she still in my tummy? It just didn’t make sense. little boy was finally brought over...I knew his name would be Levi. Don't ask me how...since I had not prepared for a boy...but about 2 weeks before the delivery, the name Levi for a baby boy had come to mind. AND Levi it was! He was tiny...2.8kgs but looked even much….much smaller. We are big-boned people . When I first picked him, I introduced myself as the woman he would never be able to get rid off for the next of his life…. and then said hello. He opened his eyes really wide.....and then he pursed his lips together so that his mouth became very small. I burst out in laughter...for I often did this! It was my signature move. “Now that’s my son!”..I happily thought.

    Levi is now 4. I must's been a crazy journey. At 3 weeks, a doc discovered he had pneumonia...the silent type that barely has any symptoms. We were in hosp for a week and at some point he was on oxygen. Between then and when he was 1.5, we had countless hospital visits. Asthma, Rotavirus, Gastritis…more asthma etc were some of the reasons. For two of those visits, he had to go to theater for stitching after his own misadventures. We have been to hospital so often…he knows the Nairobi Hospital logo. He always looks at it and says…”Mum…to doctor?”. I say “Yes”. He thinks going to the doctor is something exciting. I thank God he has come out of it all.

    By the time he was two….he had tried to milk a cow on his own (we live up country). On this particular day, my mum had watched him walk over to the cow shed and decided to see what he was up to. He ushered the cow into the milking pen (I cringe!) and sat down on the milking stool. Then suddenly, he seemed to remember something and stood up again. Levi went into the store and picked up a handful of Napier grass and gave it to the cow, then sat down again…now ready to milk. By this time, my mum had dashed over to pick him up. I almost would have wanted to see what he does next. He is quite fearless. Except when it comes to Monkeys. You need to have watched Toy Story 3 to understand!

    Levi learns things quickly mostly by observation and before you know it…he is doing that very thing to the letter. I had never realized he even knew cows were milked. By this time, I had noted that Levi was quite a danger to himself. A very curious child….he was prone to doing the most outrageous things. You could never leave ANYTHING lying around. I had bought a very child-proof TV…or so I thought. The buttons are the top. And I then placed the TV quite high up..and the DVD even higher. One day, I watched Levi climb onto a seat…reach the TV, change to Video Mode (am not sure how he knew what button to press)…put in a DVD (he selected one from a couple)…and press play. To this day, he is DVD DJ. Boy does he torture us! But that is just how Levi is.

    He has drank paraffin at my mum’s but was thankfully ok and didn’t need to be admitted. Once (ok…twice) he down a whole bottle of augmentin right after we had just gotten back from hospital. NO…am not a careless mother. You would need to meet Levi to understand. You see…child proof caps are not really child proof as Levi has proven. Our fridge was henceforth under lock and key. At 3, he took my mum’s BP meds. 9 of them…and 5 of some strong pain killers and swallowed them. My mum had just stepped out of her room to pick up a glass of water. Levi happened along and in no time….Well, we were in hospital for a day…but he was ok.

    He has continued to basically raise our blood pressures….(in both a good and bad way) in our household. You can never leave anything lying around. Your phone will be dismantled in minutes…and the buttons eaten. He seems to like that. He will eat sugar, dip both hands into the Jam, eat raw rice, raw spaghetti and occasionally even flour. An umbrella will be totally non-existent by the time he is done with it. He has a knack for finding “hidden things”. Leave him in your room…and he will have found even those things that you probably lost. Curiosity drives him strongly. He will remove the roller (little ball at the top) off your roll-on (I don’t know how). He will drink your lotion. Apply your nail polish, oil his hair, eat your earrings, pour all your perfume and carefully dismantle your beaded jewellery …and attempt to eat the beads. In the kitchen, he will add water to your boiling tea…till it spills over…and finally, there is only water in the sufuria and little traces of milk. He will put salt in your tea and you will only realize it when you take your first sip. In the living room, he will scratch all the DVD’s, he will write all the walls with crayons…then eat them. He will draw on every surface…including the TV screen. He will draw on the walls using anything…crayons, pens, markers…even shoe polish. Outside, he will open all the taps, he will put his hand into the car’s exhaust pipe and put soot all over his face. He will go to the outside kitchen…and play with fire. If there no fire…he will cover himself and anything else close by with ashes. He will run out into the rain and if the gate is open, he will run…and RUN. You have to call the shopkeeper down the road to catch him…cos you won’t. He will then eat the remote buttons and anything with plastic on it that he can lay his hands on. ALL IN A DAY’S WORK. I know all these are things that kids typically do…but I can assure you, Levi can combine a number of these things into one day and into the shortest time possible…Please note though…he is never without a minder or a family member to watch him.

    When it comes to speech…Levi will have you laughing all the time. An Elephant is a PepePhant. CNN…is Cnene. Cartoon Network is Chinene. See the distinction there? . A a policemum…and a Panda…is a Kanda. A cup is a pack. His name is Ey Kamua….and the list goes on and on. Asking you to put the lights on…Levi is will say “Make Stima here”..pointing to the room or area.

    He loves logos and seems to especially love the KCB & CNN logos. Safaricom too. He sees things that others do not notice. On a huge KWS poster of a cheater…..Levi sees an elephant. There is none in the background. Where…you may wonder? Take a look at the KWS logo and you will understand. It’s tucked somewhere at the bottom of the poster. He can make formations out of anything. Give him a toothpick and pieces of cabbage…and you will have a train. He is obsessed with Chipmunks..and can watch them continuously all day. He wakes up in the morning…giggles…and starts talking about Chipmunks. Good morning will come later…if it comes. He prefers not to say it. In response go a “good morning”…you are likely to get a loud “NO” from him. He also prefers not to greet strangers completely. Sometimes, family members too. Sometimes…am included in that list.

    Levi also does not like wearing sweaters…or jackets. He cries if you force him. Keeping shoes and socks on lasts as long as he is out of the house. Thereafter…they are nonsensical items. Even on a cold day. He does not seem to like writing too….and does his homework in a flash…in very big letters. He does not repeat numbers or letters the way the teacher wants him to. It seems rather annoying. So when asked to write the number nine 5 times as homework or severally on a page, Levi will write one HUGE big 9. In class, when asked to write…he will close his eyes and pretend to doze off.

    When it comes to games…he loves playing peek-a-boo..or hide & seek in particular. It makes him laugh…over and over again. He never tires. The delight on his face is amazing. If you want to get him to smile….”peek-a-boo!”. He seems to like puzzles…and complicated games that will hold his attention for a long time. As for his toys…a few strong ones have survived his onslaught. I must applaud the manufacturers of those particular ones. bravo!

    He is a lovely child. Definitely, the most interesting person I have ever met! Whatever you think Levi cannot do or is beyond his age…HE CAN & HE WILL DO IT. He is autistic..we recently discovered. It makes sense… a lot of it. It’s a particular kind of autism. The same type of autism that Einsteen, Da Vinci & Mozart are suspected to have had. I have a deep feeling, his story is yet to be told. Of him…you will hear more of.

    I love him….I love him to bits. Am proud to be his mother.
    By Sheekow Kamau