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Tuesday, May 21, 2013


"It's been a hard day's night and I've been working like a dog, it's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log"...

 This blog is supposed to be about my life and music right? Well it ain't pretty, if you're getting out of the wagon, do it now!

The glamour, nutta. The fame, ain't worth talking about and by the way, don't ever buy into the lie that folks don't wish for it, dream about it, you know "focus on the task ahead and then it will come". Call it as it is, we all wonna be famous, what differs is the degree. We all desire it, we desire the glory and recognition. Of course it's an entirely different story when you're famous for well, all the wrong reasons..

This here story though, ain't about the fame per say but rather, the unbelievably stressful vibe that goes into cutting a record just one record. Here goes..

So a certain producer offered to record my music as an 'exchange' for a performance I did awhile back. On the week we'd scheduled the recording, things took an interesting turn. The guitarist stopped picking up my calls (I figured he's running cos there was no money in the deal). Meaning I was basically stuck and we had to reschedule, again, for the umpteenth time. The very next week I hooked up with yet another guitarist (let's just say that in this business you become a langa for instrumentalists, musically speaking till the day you become established...) but then he got a high profile gig and had to dump me, no hard feelings, to go to Uganda for the job. In the end I just shut down and decided to give up on the recording.. too stressful to do it. Book rehearsal space, get a guitarist and percussionist who'll gel, teach them the music-chords and all, synch our schedules, pay for transport and the actual recording; and live my life as a mother, daughter, friend etc whoa! Too much, just couldn't take it. I also realise that if I had hard cash for this project, we would be having a totally different convo on my music and progress. Just in case you've wondered where I've been, well, I've been on my 9-5 job, part time, I have a couple of unfinished recordings. They are promising but it's quite expensive so.. working my butt off to finish up on the budget and then I'll get back to gigging. Honestly, I miss the stage. performing just does it for me.

You can't force people to believe in your vision or to wait it out. They've got to have a good reason for sticking it out with you through the bad times; when you're struggling with your dream and through the good times, when it all finally comes together. In my experience, chasing my dream has cost me friends, relationships, lots of sleep and some sanity but still, I count myself blessed, yes blessed. I'm convinced that throughout the madness and misery, there has to be something amazing in store for me. A thank you for all this trouble. If you've stuck it out with me on any level, thank you. There will be something to show for it one of these fine days...

Had a chat most recently with a pal of mine, a producer who was visiting from Portugal and he said something interesting; that moments on stage just seem to cure everything; the issues of life , you know, bad hair days, long hours in traffic, horrible relationships, bad sex or no sex.. etc. Lolest! I honestly agree, being on stage, performing or as I like to call it giving my heart is therapeutic. In that instant, nothing else matters. Nothing. Just that moment.. I look forward to it. Got mad issues to resolve:)